








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
249 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 845 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 217 | 26% |
| Smokes | 214 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 276 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 138 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $91,602 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lil gup | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | sheenmachine | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | mike | 42% | 24 |
| #4 | krnramen | 41% | 17 |
| #5 | vin | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vin | 6 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | mike | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Pedro de Pacas | 2 | 0.0116 |
| #4 | sheenmachine | 2 | 0.0154 |
| #5 | krnramen | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mike | 110 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #2 | vin | 52 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | krnramen | 40 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | sheenmachine | 40 | 0.31 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pedro de Pacas | 21 | 0.12 | 0 min |





