








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1354 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,961 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 343 | 12% |
| Smokes | 982 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 777 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 859 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $338,703 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Zotar | 35% | 37 |
| #11 | Fateless 一叶之秋 | 31% | 39 |
| #12 | SlightlyToTheDog | 30% | 33 |
| #13 | ScreaM [LeftOut] | 26% | 77 |
| #14 | kerrie | 21% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pistol Pete | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | ScreaM [LeftOut] | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Yannixx | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | SlightlyToTheDog | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | Lazy Titan | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pistol Pete | 197 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | Yannixx | 147 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | NC_Protocol | 143 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lazy Titan | 135 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Krozzie | 120 | 0.05 | 3 min |





