








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 318 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 200 matches | ||
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3450 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,910 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2609 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3066 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3096 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2139 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $676,696 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 368 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swooshi | 58% | 78 |
| #2 | vikkej | 56% | 106 |
| #3 | linglong | 54% | 182 |
| #4 | MasterOogway420☑ | 51% | 183 |
| #5 | Harsann | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | linglong | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | vikkej | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | MasterOogway420☑ | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | torsten ☆ | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Swooshi | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MasterOogway420☑ | 1017 | 0.25 | 31 min |
| #2 | vikkej | 442 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | linglong | 338 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | torsten ☆ | 262 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | Swooshi | 173 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MamaMaestro | +2.15 | 79 | 66 |
| #2 | linglong | +0.99 | 74 | 60 |
| #3 | Harsann | +0.75 | 86 | 46 |
| #4 | torsten ☆ | +0.61 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | Swooshi | +0.25 | 75 | 57 |





