








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 312 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 1,960 | |
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3256 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,336 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3800 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3412 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2895 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2229 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,210,003 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 740 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seshjedi | 82% | 34 |
| #2 | jopeZipopezi | 74% | 23 |
| #3 | jussi | 71% | 42 |
| #4 | Joe Brrrr | 69% | 48 |
| #5 | H0R3S ♞ | 67% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aTTe | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | SAGGERTON-_- | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | lesob1 | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | AkuQ | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | H0R3S ♞ | 4 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SAGGERTON-_- | 1528 | 0.32 | 45 min |
| #2 | lesob1 | 759 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #3 | A.V | 463 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #4 | aTTe | 426 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | seshjedi | 198 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jopeZipopezi | +5.14 | 72 | 72 |
| #2 | SAGGERTON-_- | +4.31 | 90 | 82 |
| #3 | jussi | +2.04 | 63 | 64 |
| #4 | NoweQ^ | +1.80 | 83 | 65 |
| #5 | Joe Brrrr | +1.19 | 80 | 62 |





