








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 195 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 339 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 103 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4050 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,117 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3978 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4465 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4548 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3126 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,200,009 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 280 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Pasha | 46% | 46 |
| #9 | Alexander Hold | 45% | 130 |
| #10 | Tilli | 44% | 36 |
| #11 | compl1cated | 43% | 40 |
| #12 | p1f ` | 26% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apfelele | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Alexander Hold | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | -KONSI- | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | PEPPER | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | P.Griffin | 3 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apfelele | 1030 | 0.29 | 26 min |
| #2 | -KONSI- | 556 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #3 | Valar. | 416 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #4 | Alexander Hold | 382 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #5 | PEPPER | 120 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P.Griffin | +6.02 | 98 | 67 |
| #2 | PEPPER | +2.18 | 81 | 73 |
| #3 | Pasha | +2.11 | 85 | 54 |
| #4 | Apfelele | +1.81 | 68 | 74 |
| #5 | -KONSI- | +1.50 | 61 | 70 |





