








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 214 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1458 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 451 | 15% |
| Smokes | 806 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1189 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 529 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $477,508 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PanikGiraffe | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | B0mb | 56% | 55 |
| #3 | Malako™ | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | 세 다리 남자 3 7 3 | 54% | 54 |
| #5 | Larry Milker | 54% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Malako™ | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | 세 다리 남자 3 7 3 | 54% | 54 |
| #5 | Larry Milker | 54% | 69 |
| #6 | BrixXBS | 43% | 14 |
| #7 | Knurstel | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Larry Milker | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | B0mb | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | PanikGiraffe | 2 | 0.0190 |
| #4 | 세 다리 남자 3 7 3 | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Malako™ | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Larry Milker | 261 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | B0mb | 61 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Malako™ | 45 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | BrixXBS | 38 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | 세 다리 남자 3 7 3 | 34 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Larry Milker | +2.01 | 76 | 69 |
| #2 | 세 다리 남자 3 7 3 | +1.92 | 75 | 48 |
| #3 | CptSkipper' | +0.61 | 88 | 49 |
| #4 | B0mb | +0.31 | 74 | 56 |
| #5 | Knurstel | -0.76 | 56 | 67 |





