








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 150 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1273 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,766 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1607 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1600 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1810 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1749 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $573,357 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sneræv | 49% | 81 |
| #2 | Cl1ckCl1ck | 44% | 61 |
| #3 | Scottie | 42% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sneræv | 49% | 81 |
| #2 | Cl1ckCl1ck | 44% | 61 |
| #3 | Scottie | 42% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cl1ckCl1ck | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cl1ckCl1ck | 198 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Sneræv | 102 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Scottie | 95 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sneræv | +1.45 | 64 | 59 |
| #2 | Scottie | +0.58 | 76 | 64 |
| #3 | Chef Patron | -1.46 | 48 | 71 |
| #4 | Cl1ckCl1ck | -2.48 | 17 | 74 |





