








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 191 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 168 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1196 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,089 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2426 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2469 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2422 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1772 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $498,038 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 180 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ุ | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Dan1B | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | Sneræv | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | Chef Patron | 44% | 61 |
| #5 | Scottie | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ุ | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Dan1B | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | Sneræv | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | Chef Patron | 44% | 61 |
| #5 | Scottie | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chef Patron | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chef Patron | 167 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Dan1B | 68 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Scottie | 58 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Sneræv | 38 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | ุ | 21 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sneræv | +3.39 | 63 | 58 |
| #2 | ุ | +3.15 | 57 | 77 |
| #3 | Dan1B | +1.82 | 79 | 62 |
| #4 | Scottie | +0.75 | 75 | 61 |
| #5 | Chef Patron | -0.36 | 42 | 71 |





