








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 248 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1832 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,948 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1114 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1986 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2587 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1261 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,368,769 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PiPaPo | 50% | 208 |
| #2 | Kurbel | 48% | 198 |
| #3 | HoPelEss | 46% | 157 |
| #4 | Hauk | 43% | 96 |
| #5 | Manfred | 41% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | HoPelEss | 46% | 157 |
| #4 | Hauk | 43% | 96 |
| #5 | Manfred | 41% | 124 |
| #6 | fiks___________``- | 41% | 37 |
| #7 | peepoCozy | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kurbel | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | HoPelEss | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | PiPaPo | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Hauk | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Manfred | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kurbel | 213 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #2 | PiPaPo | 129 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #3 | HoPelEss | 123 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | fiks___________``- | 87 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hauk | 74 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kurbel | +2.72 | 50 | 60 |
| #2 | Hauk | +1.15 | 54 | 57 |
| #3 | HoPelEss | +0.20 | 23 | 54 |
| #4 | Manfred | -0.27 | 43 | 41 |
| #5 | fiks___________``- | -0.80 | 41 | 53 |





