








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 516 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 377 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3373 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,383 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1663 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2297 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3829 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 594 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,253,369 of utility $234 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 646 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peepoCozy | 65% | 37 |
| #2 | Kurbel | 48% | 296 |
| #3 | PiPaPo | 48% | 322 |
| #4 | Hauk | 47% | 247 |
| #5 | fiks___________``- | 47% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | PiPaPo | 48% | 322 |
| #4 | Hauk | 47% | 247 |
| #5 | fiks___________``- | 47% | 62 |
| #6 | Cpt_Fischkopp TTV | 46% | 157 |
| #7 | Manfred | 43% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kurbel | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | PiPaPo | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Hauk | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Manfred | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Cpt_Fischkopp TTV | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kurbel | 322 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #2 | Hauk | 221 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #3 | PiPaPo | 187 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #4 | fiks___________``- | 146 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Manfred | 92 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kurbel | +2.52 | 49 | 60 |
| #2 | Hauk | +1.19 | 59 | 52 |
| #3 | Manfred | -0.61 | 46 | 42 |
| #4 | HoPelEss | -0.91 | 25 | 54 |
| #5 | fiks___________``- | -1.12 | 33 | 52 |





