










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 378 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1262 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 925 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1577 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 483 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1060 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $935,723 of utility $279 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 263 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manfred | 52% | 61 |
| #2 | Nailz | 52% | 23 |
| #3 | Kurbel | 52% | 91 |
| #4 | PiPaPo | 48% | 114 |
| #5 | HoPelEss | 47% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kurbel | 52% | 91 |
| #4 | PiPaPo | 48% | 114 |
| #5 | HoPelEss | 47% | 62 |
| #6 | Hauk | 47% | 60 |
| #7 | Cpt_Fischkopp TTV | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PiPaPo | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Kurbel | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | HoPelEss | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Hauk | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Nailz | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kurbel | 74 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | PiPaPo | 71 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | Hauk | 59 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | HoPelEss | 53 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Manfred | 38 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kurbel | +2.91 | 51 | 60 |
| #2 | Hauk | +1.86 | 56 | 52 |
| #3 | Manfred | -0.10 | 46 | 45 |
| #4 | PiPaPo | -1.01 | 27 | 49 |
| #5 | HoPelEss | -1.44 | 25 | 55 |





