








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 390 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 384 matches | ||
| Premier | 307 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




149 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7440 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,884 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5253 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2503 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 5325 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1803 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,142,740 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2004 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Otherboi | 54% | 90 |
| #2 | SUCK THA BEAST | 54% | 142 |
| #3 | Tarte aux pommes | 53% | 230 |
| #4 | [LvT] Plex | 52% | 44 |
| #5 | Awgels | 52% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tarte aux pommes | 130 | 0.0300 |
| #2 | SUCK THA BEAST | 58 | 0.0211 |
| #3 | Otherboi | 34 | 0.0196 |
| #4 | Amaziing # | 11 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | Ricky Spanish | 6 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tarte aux pommes | 781 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #2 | SUCK THA BEAST | 534 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #3 | Ricky Spanish | 380 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | Amaziing # | 235 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | Otherboi | 204 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [LvT] Plex | +4.62 | 73 | 63 |
| #2 | Tarte aux pommes | +4.60 | 67 | 62 |
| #3 | Awgels | +4.31 | 80 | 61 |
| #4 | Amaziing # | +2.45 | 60 | 62 |
| #5 | SUCK THA BEAST | +1.44 | 69 | 60 |





