








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 219 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1107 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,588 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 91 | 6% |
| Smokes | 566 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 544 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 387 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $202,853 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DMODeejay | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | Meekz Manny | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | Spice Tyson | 67% | 36 |
| #4 | Instrium | 61% | 85 |
| #5 | Whirlm | 55% | 226 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Instrium | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Whirlm | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | S0lu | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | JCGamer | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Spice Tyson | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whirlm | 91 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #2 | JCGamer | 72 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Instrium | 60 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | S0lu | 10 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Spice Tyson | 9 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meekz Manny | +10.84 | 100 | 36 |
| #2 | DMODeejay | +8.28 | 99 | 43 |
| #3 | Instrium | +7.66 | 98 | 63 |
| #4 | Spice Tyson | +7.16 | 100 | 34 |
| #5 | Whirlm | +1.65 | 84 | 34 |





