








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
911 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,088 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1066 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1489 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1498 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1035 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $514,157 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <μ's> Rin.Hoshizora | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | CyBer Sh0t | 58% | 45 |
| #3 | Fung | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | hai1y | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | CrossJai2 | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CyBer Sh0t | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Hasta La Vista, Baby | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | peupew | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | 鳴子しょうきち | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | My glorious king Lebron James | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 鳴子しょうきち | 366 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | CyBer Sh0t | 204 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | Hasta La Vista, Baby | 119 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Fung | 89 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | BonoZzz | 59 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 鳴子しょうきち | +5.11 | 75 | 67 |
| #2 | <μ's> Rin.Hoshizora | +5.06 | 90 | 60 |
| #3 | hai1y | +3.52 | 83 | 49 |
| #4 | BonoZzz | +2.54 | 64 | 71 |
| #5 | Hasta La Vista, Baby | +1.81 | 31 | 43 |





