








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 480 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 317 matches | ||
| Faceit | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5448 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,682 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4249 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4596 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4669 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3168 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,130,913 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kioskinpitaja | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | Vice President | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | Anisdaa | 54% | 112 |
| #4 | Eduve | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | ✪zonie | 51% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ✪zonie | 51% | 81 |
| #6 | -RobbaNi | 50% | 301 |
| #7 | Nbt.ez | 49% | 295 |
| #8 | Kaketsu | 45% | 42 |
| #9 | SNADDUS | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nbt.ez | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | -RobbaNi | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | ✪zonie | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Anisdaa | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Kioskinpitaja | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nbt.ez | 695 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #2 | -RobbaNi | 694 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #3 | ✪zonie | 382 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #4 | Eduve | 146 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | Anisdaa | 141 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eduve | +3.20 | 81 | 77 |
| #2 | IronAss | +1.88 | 67 | 66 |
| #3 | ✪zonie | +0.93 | 61 | 80 |
| #4 | Kaketsu | -0.14 | 54 | 67 |
| #5 | Anisdaa | -0.88 | 50 | 59 |





