








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1400 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 553 matches | ||
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 120 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7125 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,853 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8765 | 28% |
| Smokes | 8155 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8263 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6670 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,327,664 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 331 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -RobbaNi | 56% | 48 |
| #2 | TaoG | 54% | 54 |
| #3 | IronAss | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | #Hax_KOSSU | 50% | 103 |
| #5 | Nbt.ez | 49% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Nbt.ez | 49% | 133 |
| #6 | ✪zonie | 48% | 64 |
| #7 | kiDIOT | 45% | 120 |
| #8 | Hemulitäti | 43% | 80 |
| #9 | Aito_Jimbo | 39% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kiDIOT | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Hemulitäti | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | #Hax_KOSSU | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Nbt.ez | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | IronAss | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kiDIOT | 644 | 0.25 | 16 min |
| #2 | #Hax_KOSSU | 470 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #3 | Nbt.ez | 272 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | ✪zonie | 243 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #5 | Hemulitäti | 220 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eduve | +2.30 | 78 | 73 |
| #2 | TaoG | +0.55 | 83 | 61 |
| #3 | ✪zonie | +0.39 | 56 | 76 |
| #4 | kiDIOT | +0.23 | 59 | 75 |
| #5 | #Hax_KOSSU | +0.03 | 68 | 62 |





