








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 405 matches | ||
| Esplay | 83 matches | 1,729 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 170 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7539 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,886 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7522 | 29% |
| Smokes | 8047 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5448 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4869 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,196,618 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2027 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RedBaron | 775 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #2 | Mr.DocWhite | 414 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #3 | T_nublol | 337 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #4 | thevz | 311 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | eRun | 240 | 0.09 | 7 min |





