








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
314 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 126 | 24% |
| Smokes | 133 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 198 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 73 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $203,436 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z1no | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | kev1n | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Feyyun | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | lava | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | Perry the Blyatapus | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ☁Snakehead2_1 | 42% | 26 |
| #8 | byFatalyze | 38% | 21 |
| #9 | I-I Follow You | 37% | 35 |
| #10 | TheFoxx23 | 18% | 11 |
| #11 | DJ Trexx | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I-I Follow You | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | ☁Snakehead2_1 | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☁Snakehead2_1 | 150 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #2 | I-I Follow You | 61 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Mega | 27 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | byFatalyze | 23 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | DJ Trexx | 17 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z1no | +3.96 | 85 | 56 |
| #2 | Feyyun | +2.58 | 85 | 26 |
| #3 | DJ Trexx | +1.83 | 78 | 73 |
| #4 | lava | +1.54 | 72 | 56 |
| #5 | Perry the Blyatapus | +1.47 | 69 | 48 |





