








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 163 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
933 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,733 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 889 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1784 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2047 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1013 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $790,557 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Make Silver II Great Again | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | Majorfuzzels | 41% | 148 |
| #3 | RagnorRoc | 39% | 126 |
| #4 | Gopnik Possum | 39% | 75 |
| #5 | Sizousho | 37% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Majorfuzzels | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #2 | Gopnik Possum | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | BirdMAN- | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gopnik Possum | 219 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Sizousho | 203 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Majorfuzzels | 170 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | RagnorRoc | 111 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | laggyb0i | 75 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Majorfuzzels | +7.63 | 88 | 57 |
| #2 | laggyb0i | +0.62 | 47 | 60 |
| #3 | Make Silver II Great Again | +0.37 | 48 | 50 |
| #4 | Gopnik Possum | -1.12 | 19 | 59 |
| #5 | Sizousho | -1.36 | 71 | 55 |





