










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2690 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,304 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4634 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3631 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1843 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2196 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $764,310 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 365 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yamroll | 50% | 172 |
| #2 | tendie ninja | 49% | 77 |
| #3 | Decoy. | 44% | 200 |
| #4 | ♥ | 44% | 103 |
| #5 | Mantis | 34% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yamroll | 50% | 172 |
| #2 | tendie ninja | 49% | 77 |
| #3 | Decoy. | 44% | 200 |
| #4 | ♥ | 44% | 103 |
| #5 | Mantis | 34% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Decoy. | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | ♥ | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Mantis | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Yamroll | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | tendie ninja | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Decoy. | 352 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #2 | Yamroll | 276 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | ♥ | 248 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | tendie ninja | 86 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mantis | 16 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shnoz | +1.46 | 50 | 77 |
| #2 | Yamroll | +0.47 | 72 | 50 |
| #3 | tendie ninja | +0.16 | 54 | 56 |
| #4 | ♥ | -0.63 | 57 | 70 |
| #5 | Decoy. | -2.89 | 26 | 50 |





