








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 405 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 333 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2371 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,624 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1922 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2085 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2261 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2356 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,526,457 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tendie ninja | 47% | 55 |
| #2 | Sack of Grapes🍇 | 47% | 30 |
| #3 | Yamroll | 46% | 147 |
| #4 | Shnoz | 44% | 200 |
| #5 | Mantis | 42% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sack of Grapes🍇 | 47% | 30 |
| #3 | Yamroll | 46% | 147 |
| #4 | Shnoz | 44% | 200 |
| #5 | Mantis | 42% | 45 |
| #6 | ♥ | 41% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Shnoz | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #3 | tendie ninja | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Mantis | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shnoz | 792 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #2 | ♥ | 309 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Yamroll | 224 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | tendie ninja | 51 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sack of Grapes🍇 | 33 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shnoz | +1.44 | 50 | 78 |
| #2 | Sack of Grapes🍇 | +0.74 | 66 | 47 |
| #3 | Yamroll | +0.60 | 73 | 49 |
| #4 | tendie ninja | +0.44 | 56 | 58 |
| #5 | ♥ | -0.51 | 55 | 67 |





