








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1175 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,822 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1308 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1924 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1454 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1136 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $526,948 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 228 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yamroll | 48% | 80 |
| #2 | tendie ninja | 47% | 34 |
| #3 | Shnoz | 44% | 103 |
| #4 | Decoy. | 41% | 143 |
| #5 | Mantis | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yamroll | 48% | 80 |
| #2 | tendie ninja | 47% | 34 |
| #3 | Shnoz | 44% | 103 |
| #4 | Decoy. | 41% | 143 |
| #5 | Mantis | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tendie ninja | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Mantis | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shnoz | 404 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | Decoy. | 219 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | Yamroll | 130 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | tendie ninja | 31 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mantis | 9 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shnoz | +1.20 | 47 | 76 |
| #2 | tendie ninja | +0.40 | 57 | 59 |
| #3 | Yamroll | -0.24 | 71 | 52 |
| #4 | ♥ | -0.56 | 55 | 67 |
| #5 | Decoy. | -2.67 | 26 | 47 |





