








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2595 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,067 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2045 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2208 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1502 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1312 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $404,085 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 351 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | occasionally a TerroR | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | sdo | 49% | 83 |
| #3 | Extremogato | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | j0n | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | pork belly | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Extremogato | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | j0n | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | pork belly | 47% | 15 |
| #6 | m | 39% | 31 |
| #7 | TheBonk | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sdo | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | m | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | j0n | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | pork belly | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sdo | 218 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | TheBonk | 176 | 0.30 | 5 min |
| #3 | m | 68 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Extremogato | 63 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | pork belly | 51 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j0n | +3.05 | 89 | 63 |
| #2 | occasionally a TerroR | +2.02 | 70 | 73 |
| #3 | Extremogato | +1.22 | 53 | 49 |
| #4 | Hudson | +0.89 | 80 | 67 |
| #5 | m | -0.21 | 58 | 68 |





