








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 61 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
653 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,952 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 620 | 32% |
| Smokes | 417 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 510 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 405 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $300,602 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khad | 47% | 17 |
| #2 | Cassio | 43% | 14 |
| #3 | Kingruneorb | 40% | 60 |
| #4 | rozay | 36% | 14 |
| #5 | joosh | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khad | 47% | 17 |
| #2 | Cassio | 43% | 14 |
| #3 | Kingruneorb | 40% | 60 |
| #4 | rozay | 36% | 14 |
| #5 | joosh | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kingruneorb | 309 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #2 | Cassio | 111 | 0.35 | 3 min |
| #3 | Khad | 33 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | rozay | 18 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | joosh | 10 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joosh | +1.77 | 61 | 40 |
| #2 | SizableSac | +0.68 | 68 | 64 |
| #3 | Kingruneorb | +0.09 | 56 | 76 |
| #4 | rozay | -0.41 | 71 | 69 |
| #5 | Khad | -1.18 | 63 | 48 |





