








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 588 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 149 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2931 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,673 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3747 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2405 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2545 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1976 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $881,583 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | owen | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | MCBERD | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | BitBean Classic® | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | sugarman sam | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | Beastlytrey | 51% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | rozay | 49% | 55 |
| #7 | Cassio | 49% | 41 |
| #8 | Khad | 45% | 47 |
| #9 | SizableSac | 40% | 60 |
| #10 | tantrum- | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beastlytrey | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Cassio | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | SizableSac | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | rozay | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | sugarman sam | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cassio | 282 | 0.32 | 8 min |
| #2 | SizableSac | 226 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Beastlytrey | 187 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | Khad | 137 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | rozay | 118 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kingruneorb | +1.25 | 63 | 72 |
| #2 | SizableSac | +0.70 | 68 | 64 |
| #3 | owen | +0.57 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | MCBERD | +0.17 | 54 | 38 |
| #5 | rozay | -0.18 | 80 | 63 |





