








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 488 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 266 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2912 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,713 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4604 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5162 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3463 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4484 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $633,182 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 567 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MisterE | 62% | 61 |
| #2 | Progepanda | 57% | 180 |
| #3 | KillerMasa | 57% | 196 |
| #4 | Ritshaard | 57% | 143 |
| #5 | Mil | 56% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | SMUPPE. | 53% | 122 |
| #8 | Poeka | 53% | 122 |
| #9 | wormi27z | 53% | 59 |
| #10 | nuori jeesus | 51% | 90 |
| #11 | w1ltzu | 50% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Progepanda | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | KillerMasa | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | SMUPPE. | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Mil | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Tapankaikki? | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KillerMasa | 679 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #2 | Ritshaard | 508 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #3 | Mil | 376 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | Progepanda | 298 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #5 | SMUPPE. | 230 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mil | +2.00 | 68 | 67 |
| #2 | KillerMasa | +1.46 | 74 | 77 |
| #3 | Ritshaard | +1.16 | 87 | 77 |
| #4 | SMUPPE. | +0.97 | 62 | 73 |
| #5 | Tapankaikki? | +0.88 | 60 | 67 |





