








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 494 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 164 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1973 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,403 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1172 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1720 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2011 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1500 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,185,772 of utility $250 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 378 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nuori jeesus | 59% | 108 |
| #2 | wormi27z | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | Progepanda | 55% | 80 |
| #4 | SMUPPE. | 54% | 61 |
| #5 | MyrkkyPena | 53% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Mil | 52% | 79 |
| #9 | w1ltzu | 52% | 56 |
| #10 | Snowgoon | 50% | 12 |
| #11 | Ritshaard | 49% | 61 |
| #12 | Tapankaikki? | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MisterE | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | MyrkkyPena | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | KillerMasa | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | nuori jeesus | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Mil | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MyrkkyPena | 553 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| #2 | KillerMasa | 357 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | Mil | 305 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #4 | nuori jeesus | 281 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | Ritshaard | 171 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mil | +1.92 | 68 | 70 |
| #2 | KillerMasa | +1.82 | 74 | 80 |
| #3 | nuori jeesus | +1.62 | 68 | 70 |
| #4 | MisterE | +1.19 | 59 | 70 |
| #5 | SMUPPE. | +1.08 | 59 | 74 |





