








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1646 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 456 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Esplay | 14 matches | 2,072 | |
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4026 | 19% |
| Smokes | 7205 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4957 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4923 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,336,455 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 271 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ekkelt | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Piesso | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | jjj | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | hypr | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | melm | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fract ツ | 627 | 0.27 | 19 min |
| #2 | ekkelt | 477 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #3 | skutlae | 368 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #4 | Piesso | 346 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | xhich | 228 | 0.21 | 6 min |





