








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2363 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,427 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3665 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3040 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1609 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2113 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $443,067 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 261 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Upssss- | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | pwny | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | bqAass | 57% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Upssss- | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | pwny | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | bqAass | 57% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Upssss- | 88 | 0.31 | 2 min |
| #2 | bqAass | 70 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | pwny | 57 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Floopi | +1.93 | 81 | 67 |
| #2 | pwny | +0.93 | 70 | 64 |
| #3 | bqAass | -0.02 | 82 | 64 |
| #4 | -Upssss- | -0.37 | 64 | 81 |





