








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 724 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 179 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3325 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,701 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1509 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2091 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2172 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1929 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,292,484 of utility $243 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 374 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osama bin lagging. | 51% | 185 |
| #2 | Devos | 50% | 18 |
| #3 | Kick.com/ItsPabloDiscobar | 50% | 72 |
| #4 | NucBe | 45% | 40 |
| #5 | Piatrix | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kick.com/ItsPabloDiscobar | 50% | 72 |
| #4 | NucBe | 45% | 40 |
| #5 | Piatrix | 43% | 23 |
| #6 | LDC- | 36% | 28 |
| #7 | Rael | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osama bin lagging. | 15 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Kick.com/ItsPabloDiscobar | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | LDC- | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | NucBe | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Piatrix | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osama bin lagging. | 241 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | LDC- | 159 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #3 | NucBe | 66 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kick.com/ItsPabloDiscobar | 58 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Piatrix | 47 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TXGODYoda | +3.11 | 81 | 59 |
| #2 | Osama bin lagging. | -0.35 | 71 | 55 |
| #3 | Devos | -0.51 | 63 | 56 |
| #4 | LDC- | -1.10 | 75 | 74 |
| #5 | NucBe | -2.29 | 56 | 58 |





