








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
558 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,477 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 576 | 23% |
| Smokes | 773 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 707 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 421 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $194,124 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smitch | 44% | 75 |
| #2 | DipDipPotatoChip | 41% | 94 |
| #3 | Fjellkanin | 40% | 90 |
| #4 | Aimless | 26% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smitch | 44% | 75 |
| #2 | DipDipPotatoChip | 41% | 94 |
| #3 | Fjellkanin | 40% | 90 |
| #4 | Aimless | 26% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DipDipPotatoChip | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Smitch | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Fjellkanin | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DipDipPotatoChip | 417 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #2 | Fjellkanin | 290 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Smitch | 203 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Aimless | 58 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DipDipPotatoChip | +5.60 | 77 | 75 |
| #2 | Fjellkanin | -0.96 | 35 | 58 |
| #3 | Terkellus | -1.63 | 32 | 52 |
| #4 | Aimless | -2.40 | 53 | 61 |
| #5 | Smitch | -4.49 | 17 | 54 |





