








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 488 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 229 matches | ||
| Faceit | 215 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4677 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5771 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5471 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4133 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3752 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,080,717 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 228 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smitch | 48% | 320 |
| #2 | Aimless | 47% | 60 |
| #3 | Fjellkanin | 45% | 303 |
| #4 | Terkellus | 41% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smitch | 48% | 320 |
| #2 | Aimless | 47% | 60 |
| #3 | Fjellkanin | 45% | 303 |
| #4 | Terkellus | 41% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fjellkanin | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Smitch | 4 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fjellkanin | 778 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #2 | Smitch | 773 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #3 | Aimless | 146 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Terkellus | 139 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DipDipPotatoChip | +5.17 | 75 | 71 |
| #2 | Terkellus | -1.67 | 33 | 53 |
| #3 | Fjellkanin | -1.72 | 34 | 57 |
| #4 | Aimless | -2.43 | 55 | 56 |
| #5 | Smitch | -5.82 | 16 | 53 |





