








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2921 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,332 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 111 | 3% |
| Smokes | 140 | 4% |
| HE Grenades | 1775 | 53% |
| Molotovs | 1306 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $776,762 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ♥ r1CΞy :3 | 47% | 19 |
| #8 | Ewex Protogen | 47% | 53 |
| #9 | Paradox | 46% | 24 |
| #10 | cigsbae | 44% | 108 |
| #11 | Hatsune Milano | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cigsbae | 9 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Lentso | 6 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | urban | 6 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | tyhmäpaska | 4 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | ♥ r1CΞy :3 | 3 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cigsbae | 335 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | MiNtBlAsUb | 180 | 0.44 | 6 min |
| #3 | urban | 125 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lentso | 89 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Paradox | 76 | 0.17 | 2 min |





