








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 848 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 128 matches | 1,980 | |
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Renown | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3412 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,308 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3023 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4245 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3091 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2949 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $948,774 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 644 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Kooba | 50% | 20 |
| #13 | vibZ3t0r1 | 49% | 59 |
| #14 | leninur | 48% | 33 |
| #15 | Hjort i dameundertøy | 48% | 23 |
| #16 | ProeY | 41% | 17 |





