








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 400 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3343 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,033 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1197 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1483 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 4452 | 49% |
| Molotovs | 1901 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,267,126 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 336 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scobes | 55% | 67 |
| #2 | Crooshu | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | Daddy_Kinkstar | 54% | 50 |
| #4 | ✪HazzaVEVO | 51% | 55 |
| #5 | BOOGERMUNCHER | 50% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Prophet | 46% | 80 |
| #9 | Mikey21 | 46% | 65 |
| #10 | Lawzy | 46% | 50 |
| #11 | This Cunt | 44% | 36 |
| #12 | Plumber Sins | 44% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plumber Sins | 25 | 0.0156 |
| #2 | Wookii | 18 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Daddy_Kinkstar | 11 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | Scobes | 7 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Prophet | 5 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prophet | 445 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #2 | Wookii | 441 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | Plumber Sins | 295 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | Scobes | 204 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | ✪HazzaVEVO | 181 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prophet | +1.94 | 80 | 53 |
| #2 | Mikey21 | +1.81 | 80 | 39 |
| #3 | Wookii | +1.51 | 82 | 59 |
| #4 | Daddy_Kinkstar | +1.20 | 80 | 57 |
| #5 | Lawzy | +0.26 | 63 | 55 |





