








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
349 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,128 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 229 | 20% |
| Smokes | 373 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 188 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 338 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $151,534 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | HCB.Darren | 40% | 5 |
| #10 | HCB.Spiteful93 | 38% | 8 |
| #11 | A4YM | 25% | 4 |
| #12 | Corn | 25% | 4 |
| #13 | PatFenis | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HCB.COOM | 80 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | HCB.Anonymous | 69 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | HCB.Darren | 38 | 0.36 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ollie Cherpussie | 20 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | *superstar* | 18 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bedonka Dizzle | Al Harrington's | +11.66 | 94 | 55 |
| #2 | HCB.Darren | +8.71 | 75 | 82 |
| #3 | Ollie Cherpussie | +3.17 | 72 | 55 |
| #4 | *superstar* | +1.11 | 53 | 46 |
| #5 | HCB.Chair | +0.40 | 54 | 50 |





