










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 683 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1874 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,775 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1043 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1205 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1437 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1090 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $542,275 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reck | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | s℮mper | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | dripnotic | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | ABCDEEZ | 52% | 52 |
| #5 | celine | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | s℮mper | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | dripnotic | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | ABCDEEZ | 52% | 52 |
| #5 | celine | 50% | 12 |
| #6 | CAUSE EXILE | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ABCDEEZ | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | dripnotic | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | s℮mper | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | celine | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ABCDEEZ | 76 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | dripnotic | 49 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | s℮mper | 47 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | celine | 46 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | reck | 41 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reck | +9.29 | 92 | 69 |
| #2 | whaz | +0.95 | 62 | 46 |
| #3 | CAUSE EXILE | +0.56 | 83 | 23 |
| #4 | s℮mper | +0.37 | 67 | 65 |
| #5 | dripnotic | +0.05 | 69 | 67 |





