








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1693 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 198 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,456 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3252 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4748 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2509 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3947 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,109,777 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 765 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sparklingbabyrockthrower | 68% | 77 |
| #2 | rowlanD | 65% | 63 |
| #3 | xeCTOOOOOR | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | gwhatkey | 59% | 44 |
| #5 | Snarfy | 59% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | gwhatkey | 59% | 44 |
| #5 | Snarfy | 59% | 56 |
| #6 | cbon7 | 58% | 24 |
| #7 | whaz | 54% | 37 |
| #8 | Foges | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gwhatkey | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | sparklingbabyrockthrower | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Foges | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | cbon7 | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snarfy | 161 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | rowlanD | 157 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | gwhatkey | 103 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | cbon7 | 97 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | sparklingbabyrockthrower | 84 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xeCTOOOOOR | +3.74 | 84 | 77 |
| #2 | cbon7 | +2.76 | 84 | 70 |
| #3 | sparklingbabyrockthrower | +2.66 | 75 | 35 |
| #4 | dripnotic | +2.26 | 74 | 67 |
| #5 | whaz | +1.11 | 63 | 43 |





