








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
848 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,311 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 760 | 23% |
| Smokes | 761 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1035 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 755 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $349,140 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AtlieX | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | c4rnif3x | 100% | 5 |
| #3 | FH 7h31337n355m0n573r | 86% | 7 |
| #4 | exz0r | 76% | 17 |
| #5 | eMbo | 67% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BjarniB | 3 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | HaZy | 2 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | ⒾⓃⒻⒶⓃⓉⒶ | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Piparfugl | 1 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | ManijaK | 1 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c4rnif3x | +5.71 | 22 | 59 |
| #2 | Jazzycakes | +2.53 | 61 | 65 |
| #3 | FH 7h31337n355m0n573r | +2.12 | 45 | 80 |
| #4 | Eidi | +1.91 | 59 | 62 |
| #5 | CendenZ | +1.63 | 67 | 74 |





