








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4723 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,025 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2668 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3848 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3885 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2624 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,357,811 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1407 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5 | 63% | 95 |
| #2 | TazMish | 59% | 237 |
| #3 | wajenn | 58% | 38 |
| #4 | soysauce | 50% | 206 |
| #5 | The Lord's Otaku | 44% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5 | 63% | 95 |
| #2 | TazMish | 59% | 237 |
| #3 | wajenn | 58% | 38 |
| #4 | soysauce | 50% | 206 |
| #5 | The Lord's Otaku | 44% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TazMish | 30 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | 5 | 29 | 0.0159 |
| #3 | soysauce | 26 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | wajenn | 7 | 0.0098 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TazMish | 924 | 0.20 | 24 min |
| #2 | 5 | 279 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | The Lord's Otaku | 269 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | wajenn | 185 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #5 | soysauce | 101 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TazMish | +4.25 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | 5 | +2.76 | 75 | 59 |
| #3 | wajenn | +1.40 | 87 | 51 |
| #4 | Soupre | +0.85 | 56 | 54 |
| #5 | soysauce | -2.51 | 65 | 12 |





