








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 462 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 275 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2637 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,076 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1183 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1313 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1987 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1593 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,407,481 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 397 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ouija | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | TnTTbone | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | devvolve | 58% | 38 |
| #4 | Spieg | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Dexie | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | noahJV | 45% | 38 |
| #8 | KPak | 44% | 27 |
| #9 | ThisAcidIsFakkkkk | 39% | 51 |
| #10 | Barbados Slim | 39% | 23 |
| #11 | sirris | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noahJV | 149 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | devvolve | 120 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | ThisAcidIsFakkkkk | 114 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ouija | 111 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #5 | TnTTbone | 103 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dexie | +2.96 | 82 | 57 |
| #2 | Ouija | +2.78 | 59 | 73 |
| #3 | KPak | +2.45 | 68 | 68 |
| #4 | noahJV | +2.44 | 71 | 70 |
| #5 | sirris | +2.38 | 88 | 54 |





