








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 430 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 318 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3472 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,997 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2657 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2559 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4249 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2532 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,120,737 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 344 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schmixn' | 61% | 72 |
| #2 | marco' | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | sn@pp3r | 56% | 112 |
| #4 | Darnos | 56% | 98 |
| #5 | 'fuRy | 55% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | bennetelli | 52% | 44 |
| #8 | podricK42 | 49% | 142 |
| #9 | snkl | 49% | 53 |
| #10 | rocksTaa | 48% | 25 |
| #11 | fred0r | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vlo ṩ | 15 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | podricK42 | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | sn@pp3r | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Darnos | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | schmixn' | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vlo ṩ | 547 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #2 | podricK42 | 396 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | bennetelli | 269 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| #4 | schmixn' | 226 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | Darnos | 217 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schmixn' | +2.64 | 76 | 77 |
| #2 | vlo ṩ | +1.51 | 72 | 71 |
| #3 | marco' | +1.48 | 74 | 80 |
| #4 | rocksTaa | +1.10 | 73 | 74 |
| #5 | snkl | +1.06 | 58 | 68 |





