








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 175 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,271 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1352 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1959 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2650 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1310 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,176,158 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gschmeidige.BimsNudel | 57% | 56 |
| #2 | Heavnerboy | 56% | 124 |
| #3 | Basinga | 56% | 108 |
| #4 | loppo | 55% | 185 |
| #5 | moon | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | loppo | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Heavnerboy | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | sizzzzzzz | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Heavnerboy | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | moon | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heavnerboy | 582 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #2 | sizzzzzzz | 482 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | cubcuz | 262 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Basinga | 257 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Heavnerboy | 199 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Basinga | +4.44 | 87 | 78 |
| #2 | gschmeidige.BimsNudel | +4.03 | 85 | 79 |
| #3 | loppo | +0.97 | 72 | 56 |
| #4 | moon | +0.28 | 62 | 67 |
| #5 | Heavnerboy | +0.22 | 69 | 77 |





