








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 478 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 2,011 | |
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2266 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,249 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2267 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1817 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2309 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1856 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $763,071 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 286 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | RobbanJS | 48% | 64 |
| #13 | ✪ ds!Gn | 48% | 25 |
| #14 | shdws | 47% | 17 |
| #15 | RealkenT_ | 43% | 14 |
| #16 | Domer -Farsan Baloo | 42% | 26 |





