








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 4 different maps




Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
804 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,340 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1066 | 46% |
| Smokes | 446 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 544 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 284 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $86,185 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Poule | 54% | 61 |
| #7 | K4Mui ★ | 53% | 19 |
| #8 | bimbamboom | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | ouaisouais | 44% | 18 |
| #10 | 𝙐𝙬𝙐 RejirO ❟❛❟ | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bimbamboom | 9 | 0.0405 |
| #2 | Gabycci #GPDC | 7 | 0.0136 |
| #3 | Meloqz | 5 | 0.0192 |
| #4 | Poule | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | ouaisouais | 3 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poule | 217 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | Meloqz | 125 | 0.48 | 3 min |
| #3 | ouaisouais | 110 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #4 | Gabycci #GPDC | 91 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | bimbamboom | 91 | 0.41 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meloqz | +4.34 | 87 | 62 |
| #2 | 𝙐𝙬𝙐 RejirO ❟❛❟ | +4.28 | 70 | 66 |
| #3 | bimbamboom | +3.61 | 86 | 70 |
| #4 | AMAZ | +1.09 | 81 | 65 |
| #5 | Poule | +0.56 | 73 | 63 |





