








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 547 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 156 matches | ||
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6563 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,763 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6236 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5240 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3141 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3146 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,590,382 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 624 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Psychedelic Fart | 76% | 42 |
| #2 | Moopy | 68% | 50 |
| #3 | Leo | 64% | 104 |
| #4 | ches-ki | 62% | 34 |
| #5 | mackee | 59% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J1mbo | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Leo | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | letsmakeout23 | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | 4.6L P71 owning divorced dad | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Joe Cool | 4 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leo | 796 | 0.36 | 19 min |
| #2 | letsmakeout23 | 396 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #3 | Moopy | 313 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #4 | GlocNessMonster | 269 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | C0S | 205 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | james | +3.12 | 84 | 57 |
| #2 | Leo | +3.00 | 73 | 76 |
| #3 | Moopy | +2.21 | 78 | 66 |
| #4 | C0S | +1.55 | 50 | 60 |
| #5 | crybaby radio | +1.43 | 61 | 57 |





