








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 4 different maps




Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
85 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 540 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 249 | 46% |
| Smokes | 4 | 1% |
| HE Grenades | 237 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 50 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $15,200 of utility $32 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EGS^^ | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | MaloQuadriceps | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Kentou | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Sakoula | 45% | 22 |
| #5 | AdVen Jahta | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kentou | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Sakoula | 45% | 22 |
| #5 | AdVen Jahta | 43% | 23 |
| #6 | Big Tamma | 33% | 3 |
| #7 | Ayoukenator | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AdVen Jahta | 63 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | Sakoula | 49 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Ayoukenator | 22 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | EGS^^ | 15 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | Kentou | 12 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sakoula | +3.31 | 65 | 65 |
| #2 | AdVen Jahta | +2.53 | 73 | 75 |
| #3 | Ayoukenator | +0.06 | 59 | 62 |
| #4 | Kentou | +0.04 | 66 | 59 |
| #5 | MaloQuadriceps | -0.46 | 39 | 60 |





