








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
510 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,539 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 81 | 5% |
| Smokes | 500 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 455 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 503 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $232,458 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chribz | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | kim kAwAii ._. | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | purple | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | Arvesen | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | Sverkeren | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | schna | 41% | 34 |
| #10 | criscros | 35% | 20 |
| #11 | €u₹o | 35% | 20 |
| #12 | Julio | 34% | 29 |
| #13 | Miraculix | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schna | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | purple | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Sverkeren | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | slunk1 | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | €u₹o | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | purple | +4.20 | 74 | 58 |
| #2 | schna | +3.57 | 58 | 58 |
| #3 | chribz | +2.47 | 60 | 78 |
| #4 | Sverkeren | +2.06 | 68 | 61 |
| #5 | criscros | +1.90 | 72 | 65 |





