










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
44 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 69 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18 | 26% |
| Smokes | 35 | 51% |
| HE Grenades | 9 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 7 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $39,000 of utility $269 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jahoe | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Joe The Almighty Potato | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | bbbburnsie | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | King_Rekt | 0% | 3 |
| #5 | McMurf | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jahoe | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Joe The Almighty Potato | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | bbbburnsie | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | King_Rekt | 0% | 3 |
| #5 | McMurf | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bbbburnsie | 1 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | McMurf | 1 | 0.0156 |
| #3 | King_Rekt | 1 | 0.0159 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jahoe | 15 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| #2 | Joe The Almighty Potato | 14 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #3 | bbbburnsie | 8 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | McMurf | 4 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McMurf | +5.76 | 87 | 46 |
| #2 | Jahoe | +0.32 | 70 | 52 |
| #3 | bbbburnsie | -0.25 | 58 | 52 |
| #4 | Haggis | -1.12 | 33 | 32 |
| #5 | Joe The Almighty Potato | -2.99 | 28 | 51 |





