








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 346 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2384 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,439 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1707 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1918 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2667 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2147 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,009,444 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 390 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | TorP | 51% | 39 |
| #8 | GodteP | 51% | 85 |
| #9 | h1x^ | 48% | 116 |
| #10 | bbbburnsie | 48% | 23 |
| #11 | Joe The Almighty Potato | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GodteP | 13 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | h1x^ | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Pistol hero | 7 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | bbbburnsie | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | TorP | 1 | 0.0012 |





